Two days into the planning conference that my organization is having and I'm already sure this year will do wonders. I now believe that the universe lead me to fail twice to realize where I actually belonged or where I was needed this year. I wouldn't have thought at the start that I would be in the position I am right now, but I have no regrets and I finally feel that I am where I'm meant to be.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
I'm (now) good enough
During the last conference I attended in my organization, I talked about my most recent disturbing moment, which was losing for a VP position twice for two different roles. Until now, there's still a part of me that stings when I think about it, but for the most part, I've moved on from it. Those days were a really low point for me, though, knowing that I gave my everything and in the end, it wasn't enough. I told myself and my groupmates that I wasn't good enough... yet.
Yet is such a powerful word. It tells you that you're not whatever it is you want to be at this moment, but you will be. The potential of becoming whatever you want is there, all that has to happen is for you to reach it and conquer whatever is stopping you, which in my case was moving on from my two consecutive losses and look at the opportunities I have ahead. This was a struggle for me because I love my close friends to death, but two of them are part of the VP lineup that I didn't get into. This became a big hurdle because I really wanted to move on, but they kind of held me back somehow.
After a few days, I searched for more opportunities for me- Editor-in-Chief for my graduating batch, putting up a kids with chronic illnesses organization in UPD, and so much more, but I still felt a strong connection to the organization I'm in right now but I didn't know where to go. #identitycrisis
My crisis was answered when I was initially going to apply for a national role for my organization but I wasn't supposed to push through, and then people encouraged me to take it and to apply for it. This boosted my self-confidence enough for me to finish my application and submit it. Today, May 5, guess what, I GOT THE ROLE. I AM BEYOND HAPPY. I realized that maybe it wasn't that I wasn't wanted, it was that I was meant for something else in this organization and that I can do my change in this way.
THIS IS SUCH A EUPHORIC DAY. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE HURDLES AND CHALLENGES, UNIVERSE, BECAUSE IT LEAD ME HERE. MORE PLEASE!!
Dear "yet", we're here now. I feel that I'm good enough now, but I am not the best... yet, and I will strive to be. I promise.
Yet is such a powerful word. It tells you that you're not whatever it is you want to be at this moment, but you will be. The potential of becoming whatever you want is there, all that has to happen is for you to reach it and conquer whatever is stopping you, which in my case was moving on from my two consecutive losses and look at the opportunities I have ahead. This was a struggle for me because I love my close friends to death, but two of them are part of the VP lineup that I didn't get into. This became a big hurdle because I really wanted to move on, but they kind of held me back somehow.
After a few days, I searched for more opportunities for me- Editor-in-Chief for my graduating batch, putting up a kids with chronic illnesses organization in UPD, and so much more, but I still felt a strong connection to the organization I'm in right now but I didn't know where to go. #identitycrisis
My crisis was answered when I was initially going to apply for a national role for my organization but I wasn't supposed to push through, and then people encouraged me to take it and to apply for it. This boosted my self-confidence enough for me to finish my application and submit it. Today, May 5, guess what, I GOT THE ROLE. I AM BEYOND HAPPY. I realized that maybe it wasn't that I wasn't wanted, it was that I was meant for something else in this organization and that I can do my change in this way.
THIS IS SUCH A EUPHORIC DAY. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE HURDLES AND CHALLENGES, UNIVERSE, BECAUSE IT LEAD ME HERE. MORE PLEASE!!
Dear "yet", we're here now. I feel that I'm good enough now, but I am not the best... yet, and I will strive to be. I promise.
Monday, May 4, 2015
I'm (almost) sure my life's great
I know there have been so many things that's caused my life to go topsy turvy since the start of January, but just to share some positivity and so that it doesn't sound like I'm too whiny, here are some things on why I think my life this 2015 is going great so far:
- I have a solid group of friends now. I mean, I can probably hang out with a lot of people in my organization and everything, but these are the people who I've grown close to and have grown close to each other, and it feels great to belong to this group. It's always a routine for us now, I don't know why, but we go home so late, like 3 AM, and we regret it in the morning, of course, but we choose to hang out again LOL.
- I'm doing well in my speech classes, yay! They're really fun that sometimes, I wish our course had a choice for minoring because I would totally minor in Speech Communication. Great professors with such applicable lessons, ugh I wish I had more time to take these classes. They're so great.
- I'm trying to make my last year in UP count and to be the best, that's why I've committed myself to running for both my org and for my batch. I know, it might be taking on more than I want, but hey, it might be the last time that I can. I wanna enjoy my senior year as much as I can.
- I'm learning to take things one step at a time and to focus. One thing I've noticed about myself is how I easily get rattled because of so many things that need to get done and one thing that's also been clear is that all I need to do is BE ORGANIZED and FOCUS. I'm trying my best to do that now.
- I'm on my way to finding love, I hope? I don't know, I really hope the latter half of the year will be dedicated to knowing someone better and actually be in a relationship before my undergrad years end.
That's it for now. Let me know if you wanna hear more about my life so we can get coffee or something ahahahaha.
Can you still hear me, blogosphere?
It's been 5 months since I last posted something on this blog and I've been through so much in such a short span of time, but I'll reserve that for another post; let me focus on the most pressing matter in my life- it's 23 days until my 19th birthday! I can't wait to spend it here in Manila with my friends. I have no clue what to do on the day itself yet, but I'm already sure that it will be one of my best birthdays yet.
I know that expectations can set you up for disappointment, but I'm expecting something big to happen this time around: like a grand gesture of some sort. I don't know if it's just me being unlikable or not targeting the right market, but a grand gesture has yet to happen in my life, and if anybody still reads this blog, I'd want it to be on my birthday. After all that's happened, all I really want is someone to fight for me, to make me their first choice. Sounds selfish, but that's how I feel.
Anyway, I'll go back to making my speech plans and you can go back reading someone else's more interesting blog. I'll try to post again tomorrow. Ciao!
I know that expectations can set you up for disappointment, but I'm expecting something big to happen this time around: like a grand gesture of some sort. I don't know if it's just me being unlikable or not targeting the right market, but a grand gesture has yet to happen in my life, and if anybody still reads this blog, I'd want it to be on my birthday. After all that's happened, all I really want is someone to fight for me, to make me their first choice. Sounds selfish, but that's how I feel.
Anyway, I'll go back to making my speech plans and you can go back reading someone else's more interesting blog. I'll try to post again tomorrow. Ciao!
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