I'm (now) good enough

During the last conference I attended in my organization, I talked about my most recent disturbing moment, which was losing for a VP position twice for two different roles. Until now, there's still a part of me that stings when I think about it, but for the most part, I've moved on from it. Those days were a really low point for me, though, knowing that I gave my everything and in the end, it wasn't enough. I told myself and my groupmates that I wasn't good enough... yet.

Yet is such a powerful word. It tells you that you're not whatever it is you want to be at this moment, but you will be. The potential of becoming whatever you want is there, all that has to happen is for you to reach it and conquer whatever is stopping you, which in my case was moving on from my two consecutive losses and look at the opportunities I have ahead. This was a struggle for me because I love my close friends to death, but two of them are part of the VP lineup that I didn't get into. This became a big hurdle because I really wanted to move on, but they kind of held me back somehow.

After a few days, I searched for more opportunities for me- Editor-in-Chief for my graduating batch, putting up a kids with chronic illnesses organization in UPD, and so much more, but I still felt a strong connection to the organization I'm in right now but I didn't know where to go. #identitycrisis

My crisis was answered when I was initially going to apply for a national role for my organization but I wasn't supposed to push through, and then people encouraged me to take it and to apply for it. This boosted my self-confidence enough for me to finish my application and submit it. Today, May 5, guess what, I GOT THE ROLE. I AM BEYOND HAPPY. I realized that maybe it wasn't that I wasn't wanted, it was that I was meant for something else in this organization and that I can do my change in this way.

THIS IS SUCH A EUPHORIC DAY. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE HURDLES AND CHALLENGES, UNIVERSE, BECAUSE IT LEAD ME HERE. MORE PLEASE!!

Dear "yet", we're here now. I feel that I'm good enough now, but I am not the best... yet, and I will strive to be. I promise.