I sit and wait
and wait and sit
for the world to unravel itself

I stand and think
and think and stand
how the world will unravel itself

I walk and stop
and stop and walk
waiting for the world to unravel itself

but as I close my eyes
the world disappears
I take a breath
open my eyes, and realized

sitting and waiting
and waiting and sitting
standing and thinking
and thinking and standing
walking and stopping
and stopping and walking
will do nothing

the world does not unravel itself to anyone
you unravel yourself to the world
work out all entanglements
and bare yourself
because the world needs more honest people

I'm too scared to tell you that...

...my heart beats fast when I see you come near me.
...seeing you smile can already make my day.
...talking to you makes me feel at ease.
...resting my head on your shoulder feels snug.


I'm too scared to tell you that maybe, just maybe, I'm slowly falling for the nice, funny, and quirky guy I met almost 4 months ago. And it scares me knowing that I might lose you because of this.

It's been a while

I have no idea if it's even cool to blog anymore. I remember doing this just so that I could do something cool. It all changed when I suddenly felt like this was an outlet for my stress and after more than 2 years of me not being able to blog, I've missed it so much.

How's everything going after 1 year, you may ask? Everything's changed significantly since I was a freshie- I'm now part of an organization that I love so much and on my way to a career in foreign service/international affairs. It's crazy knowing that a year ago, I was so sure of medicine (then interior design then architecture then..).

Okay, I change my mind a lot, but recently, I've learned that being indecisive will get you nowhere. Our decisions may not always be right but at least because we made a choice, we get to move on with our life. It's difficult being stuck in a limbo all the time. "Life waits for no one," as some people would put it.

I gave myself a long while to really think about what I wanted to do and when I got to talk to my adviser, foreign service was her suggestion (and it was a long time "what if" running through my head). I've realized that maybe I've always been so keen to go to medicine because the people around have been constantly telling me to pursue it and as the obedient kid that I am, I obliged.

But I've realized that I have to be my own person and being independent means making choices that are best for me and for my interests and my future, that's why I decided to pursue this dream of mine. I recently came upon a bucket list I made way back in high school and one of the items I enumerated was for me to become the Secretary General of the UN someday. Such an audacious dream for one person, isn't it? Well, it's not worth doing if it doesn't challenge you, and this is one challenge I am willing to face.

I want my advocacy to be to bridge the youth to the rest of the world. This advocacy started because I feel like the youth has a lot of creative ideas to solve a lot of problems in the world, it's just that most of them don't have the means or the opportunity to communicate their idea. That's where I want to come in- to create a way for the youth to share their ideas because how young a person is shouldn't determine the credibility of his or her idea.

I am so excited to blog more soon because I promised myself to use this as a space to reflect and unwind when stressful things come up (and boy, will it be stressful next week). So excited to blab about my life again yay.