Do you ever get the feeling of sadness and a sense of heaviness after leaving tumblr? I know I do.

I've finally realized the fact why I variably write in this blog instead of writing on it constantly or on a daily or weekly basis: It's either a.) I have nothing good to write about b.) I have something good to write about but I don't know how to put it in words c.) I have something good to write about but I'm lazy d.) ugh meh or e.) I don't know where my blog is going

I now know that this is where I can pour out my thoughts and where I could write more than 140 characters and without the fear of knowing that everyone in my Facebook friends list will see it. And I'm so glad that has finally sunk in. I know I'm not the best at writing things but I'm not in the position to please anyone by the way I write in this blog so it doesn't really matter how extensive my vocabulary is or whatnot.

Anyway, I'm gonna try to post as much as I can now. I promise. Maybe daily even.

I feel your warmth beside me, your arms wrapped so tightly around my body. Your timed breaths I can feel at the nape of my neck. I see your smile while you look into my eyes and realize that being here with you calms me down.

EXCEPT

There isn't anyone's warmth to feel beside me, no arms wrapped so tightly around my body. No timed breaths that I feel at the nape of my neck. And most of all, I don't see anyone's smile while they look into my eyes and realize that being here with them calms me down. Anxiety creeps in. Depression slowly envelopes me while I lay still in bed.